The 2015 NBA Draft came and went last week. Karl-Anthony Towns went #1 to Minnesota, Luka Mitrovic went #60 to Philadelphia and in between Rece Davis and the crew yammered on about wingspans and basketball IQ.
Personally, I was only interested in seeing where my main man Justin Anderson landed. The former Virginia swing man left school a year early and saw his stock rise after an impressive combine performance parlayed with a much improved shooting touch during the 2014-15 season. Come draft night, Anderson would end up heading to Dallas, who owned the 21st pick.
Former UVa basketball player Rick Carlisle is the Mavericks coach, and upon calling Anderson to inform him he would be the newest Mav, Carlisle simply said “Wahoowa” when Anderson picked up the phone.
This got me thinking, what other things do coaches say when they call players to inform them that they have been drafted? With inspiration from Dave Letterman and from the home office in Bethesda, Maryland, here are ten other things overheard from draft night phone calls from coaches to players.
Here we go…
10. “We’ll be reporting a little late to camp; I made it to the semi-finals of ‘Dancing With The Stars’.”
9. “At halftime of our games, I just play random clips from ‘Blue Chips’ on the locker room TV.”
8. “You majored in journalism right? The main reason we drafted you was to be a contributor on Ted Leonsis blog.“
7. “Just curious, do you have any experience operating a t-shirt gun?”
6. “It’s an exciting time to be apart of this franchise; we got an air hockey table last week!”
5. “We have a very strict gambling policy: never split 10’s”
4. “No dunking in practice; those peach baskets are pretty fragile.”
3. “Per team rules, your first contract will be paid out in store credit to Old Navy”
2. “I would have taken the guy from Latvia, but I couldn’t figure out how to pronounce his name.”
1. “We actually didn’t draft you, I just gotta know…where did you get that suit?”