The Redskins and Cowboys meet tonight for 109th time in NFL history, and 16th time on Monday Night Football. Living inside the Beltway and only a handful of exits away from FedEx Field, I have a front row seat for the yearly circus of over inflated expectations, over priced veteran free agency signings and predictable disappointment that the standard issue Redskins season brings. At 2-6 and facing the 6-1 Cowboys in Jerry World, it may seem like another season is evaporating before the calendar even hits November. Well I’m here to tell you, noble Skins fan, that tonight your beloved team is actually playing with house money.
As a 9 point underdog on MNF in a game that no one is giving the Skins chance of winning, the pressure is all on Tony Romo, Jason Garrett and the rest of the Dallas team to not let the Redskins hang around with them into the 2nd half. With Robert Griffin reportedly not playing tonight, there’s even less pressure as gun slingin’ Colt McCoy will get the nod over the 4th quarter meltdown specialist Kirk Cousins.
Are the Redskins going to make the playoffs this year? No.
Will they wind up with a .500 record or better? Pretty unlikely.
Could they beat the Cowboys tonight? It’s possible.
Even if the suits on the CBS pregame show couldn’t stop laughing at the prospect of the Redskins winning tonight, the NFL is a league where the Bucs went into Pittsburgh and beat the Steelers a month ago. Digest that for a minute.
ESPN980’s Kevin Sheehan and Thom Loverro previewed the game today by highlighting two things that need to happen for the Skins to pull off the upset:
- The Redskins need to injure Tony Romo (classy)
- The Cowboys need to have a bunch of shady, possibly Vegas induced penalties go against them
Not the most promising game plan. Still, with expectations this low, all you Redskins fans can sit back and enjoy some cold ones and enjoy the latest installment of the Skins/Cowboys series without all the added pressure of expectations. And as a present day Redskins fan, if you aren’t channeling your inner Hunter S. Thompson and having a drink or seven while watching this lot, you’re doing it all wrong. Below is a helpful drinking game (must be 21 or over of course) guaranteed to keep you stewed from the kickoff to the final whistle.
If you’re fleeing the house for the local watering hole, here are a few good options around the country for ‘Skins fans to gather and reminisce about Joe Gibbs, The Posse and The Hogs. If you endorse another bar you think we should include, let me know.
On to the game!
Take 1 drink if:
- The Redskins get a first down.
- Romo gets sacked.
- RG3 is shown on TV.
- It’s mentioned that Colt McCoy is from Texas. Chug your drink if old high school highlights are shown.
- Jon Gruden confesses that his favorite technique of giving his younger brother Jay a wedgie when they were growing up was the Spider 3 Y Banana.
Take 2 drinks if:
- Romo turns the ball over.
- Mike Tirico makes clandestine references to the point spread.
- Jon Gruden says “This guy!!” (You’re trying to get drunk, right?)
- A flag is thrown on either team (Well, we’re definitely getting drunk now).
- Gruden gushes over a marginally good player. Chug your drink if that player is anyone on the Redskins defense besides Kerrigan.
Take 3 drinks if:
- Colt McCoy throws a touchdown.
- A review/challenge takes place.
- Any old Skins/Cowboys MNF clip is shown.
- Jerry Jones is shown on TV. Chug your drink if his personal eye glass lens wiper makes an appearance.
- Peyton Manning shows up in a commericial.
Chug your drink if:
- Dan Snyder is shown in a suite with Notah Begay, Jerry’s love interest from “The Cigar Store Indian” episode of Seinfeld and the Cleveland Indians mascot.
- Chris Berman takes over in the booth for Tirico at halftime.
- Alfred Morris rushes for 100 yards (guy just isn’t the same without the threat of RG3 running the read option).
- You’re listening to the Redskins radio broadcast. Seriously a four man booth? Poor Sonny can barely get a word in.
- The Redskins pull out the win.
Speaking of a Redskins win…we’re taking the 9 points, and as always, sprinkling on the ML. Skins and under (49 points). 21-17, one way or the other.
Enjoy the game, and of course..if you’re driving, don’t drink…and if you drink, don’t drive.