How slow is “the slowest sports night on the sports calendar” you ask? Last night was more lively because The ESPYs were on. However, tonight doesn’t have to be the sports version of rehab. If you’ve got the itch, you can scratch it with some of these highly entertaining gambling options.
The WNBA: That’s right, WNBA games have lines and totals. Who knew? Unfortunately it’s too late to get any action on the Atlanta Dream and LA Sparks matchup, which tipped at 3:30pm. Don’t fear, a classic northeast battle tips at 7pm from Madison Square Garden as New York is laying 6 points to visiting Connecticut. The league has casino’s for sponsors on their team uniforms, so it’s not surprising that there are lines posted for the games. New York is playing a back to back (they tipped yesterday at 11am, seriously who makes this schedule?) so think twice before laying the chalk. Pretty rough that on the slowest sports night of the year, a 7pm WNBA game at Madison Square Garden isn’t televised. Where have you gone Rebecca Lobo?
Canadian Football: When the Tigercats and Alouettes get together, throw out the record books. Hamilton travels to Montreal on the extra large, Canadian style gridiron and you can actually watch on ESPN3. I like to envision a young Canadian degenerate, slouched behind several empty Molson bottles at his local Poutine joint, as the Alouettes convert a meaningless, last second rouge and the young Canuck tears up his Tigercats -3 ticket.
“Vous êtes putain de graves !?” he exclaims, dejectedly. As he walks out and pulls out his phone, he solemnly calls his bookie…
“Qu’est-ce que la ligne sur le jeu d’Edmonton?”
Horse Racing: Remember horse racing? You liked it a few weeks ago when American Pharaoh won the Triple Crown. Well, if you liked that you’re going to love the Saratoga harness races. If you go to an OTB, just make sure you wear sweatpants and a stained Eagles jersey, or you’ll look totally out of place.
Virtual Horse Racing: I’m not even kidding, this is a thing in Maryland. You sit in a bar or liquor store and bet on virtual horse races (if Keno isn’t your bag). On second thought, I can’t even condone this. Go outside or call a family member perhaps. Don’t gamble on virtual horse racing.
MLB Futures: Not all action can have immediate satisfaction. Take a look back at the 1st half and find yourself a winner for October. Looking for a World Series long shot with some life? How about the Twins at 20 to 1? In the NL, take a stab at the Mets at 25 to 1 to pitch their way through the playoffs. Whatever you do, don’t bet on the Nats who will no doubt choke in the NLDS behind a few Drew Storen blown saves. Yes, I do believe in reverse jinxes.